Bread Crumbs In The Butter

Ontario Report Cards; Bafflegab Or Useful Insight?

The most exciting thing about my kids starting school was getting The School Report Card.  It has something to do with my inherent geekiness and extreme need to hear how amazing my kids are, but I could not wait for the first report card.  Indeed, each one since then comes with a few days of excitement on my part.  I just can't wait for that yellow legal-sized envelope to appear in their agendas.  I pour a cup of tea and rip that sucker open the minute they get in the door.

And then I spend the next hour or so trying to decipher just what the teacher is trying to say to me.

I've often said, quite loudly, that my child's grade is of little importance to me - it's the teacher's comments that I go to right away.  The grade is a number and if it's representative of the work they've done, I'm thrilled.  The comments though, that's where the gold is.  The spot where I expect to hear just how much Ms Teacher loves my child. 

But have you noticed? There seems to be a short list of predetermined catch phrases embedded in each section of the comments.  I'm not sure if they're specifically written that way, but we've been involved in two school boards in the last ten years and the terminology has been almost exactly the same across the board.

"With consider effectiveness..."

"With a high degree of accuracy..."

"She confidently identified..."

""With consistent accuracy..."

And the one that baffles me the most "She should continue to develop communication ability using simple language." 

What does that mean?  That she is well developed and on her way to becoming above average? Or does it mean that this is an area she needs to work on? 

Report card language has sometimes gotten to the point where I just skim and tell myself I'll go back to it later.  Not to mention one year (not in our current board and no I won't tell you the teacher) I clearly caught a teacher in a cut and paste gaffe when she used another child's name in my daughter's report card.

I remember the report cards I got as a child.  The most common sentiment was "Chantal is a very bright child who does well on her work. However, if she paid more attention and stopped talking so much, her grades would be near perfect." 

You can't get more to the point than that, can you?  And no, my mother never took offense because, and here it is, it was true!  Year after year, teacher after teacher, the same thing was said. 

Over the past few years I've often wondered if there is a certain guideline that comes with the preparation of report cards?  Is there strict language to follow?  Are teachers given any space with which to include candid remarks?  Are my kids so shockingly normal that there has never been a need for this? 

I know I'm not alone in this.  Howard Goodman, a Toronto School Board Trustee is tabling a motion this Wednesday to do away with this jargon.  As outlined in this article (I also heard him on CBC radio on Thursday)  at Parent Central.

Read the article. Let me know what you think as a parent. I would also love to hear if you're a teacher.  I can only imagine what it's like to prepare report cards for so many children three to four times a year, so let me know what you think.

Growing

When I started blogging five years ago, it was to chronicle my life. At that time, my oldest child was only seven years old.  I had a nursing baby, a preschooler and two children just starting on their formal education path.

In those five years this blog has grown. I have grown. My children have grown.

Them growing has caused me to examine what it means to chronicle this life online for the world to see. My oldest is now twelve years old and the only thing I nurse is a beer at the local pub. All of my children are in school and soon, all of them will be gone all day. High school is only one year away. The issues we're facing have become way more complex. Issues that my children probably wouldn't want to find on the internet one day.

Years ago, as I sat with a baby on one breast and a toddler demanding a diaper change at my feet, complaining that it felt like I hadn't slept in weeks, my mother shared some wisdom with me.  She told me to relish those days where everything was easy.  I remember thinking she had fallen and bumped her head because nothing was easy those days. I was chronically tired, bitchy and fed up. She explained that as they got older, the tired would still be there, but the worries would be bigger and the solutions less in my control.

The woman was right.

With older children come new challenges that require way more than a kiss on the knee or a fresh bowl of Goldfish crackers.  When my children were so young I could not wrap my head around the fact that eventually these babies would become tweens and teens and then adults.  Facing these challenges requires more than my small amount of knowledge. We've had to branch out, seek out and welcome insights from those in this wonderful village.

It used to be I could come here, to this page, and spit out pages and pages of rants and hollers. For every bad day I had, I received comment after comment of wonderful sentiments. It was lovely to be validated, to be lifted up in spirit and commiserated with.  Now though, I can't betray their requests for privacy and discretion simply to fill my own need to feel valued and admired by my peers in motherhood.

There are so many things I want to tell you. Anecdotes I want to share. Milestones that have been reached. Scary things that we've faced.  But I can't. These little people are almost at the age where they can do that themselves, if they want to. 

I don't want to say that I wish I could go back to those days of sippy cups, debating cloth diapers and itching for a night out.  The stage we are at thrills me. I have a new amount of freedom I thought would never come. Along with sitting back and enjoying these four people I've helped create, I get to be a bit more ego-centric in my life.

And I guess, so will this blog.

Gonna Make You Sweat

I sweat when I play soccer.

I sweat when I run, especially if it's on a treadmill (for some weird reason).

I sweat like a crack dealer in a donut shop when I play ball hockey, because it's usually about 56 billion degrees in the arena in July.

But nothing, and I meant nothing makes me sweat like any kind of yoga done in a hot room.

Have you tried this yet? (Click on Bikram or Hot Yoga for what I'm talking about).

If you're looking to mix up your workouts and add something that just makes you feel limber and amazing, try hot yoga.

If you have a thorough and experienced teacher like we clearly did today, she will explain what each posture means and what area of your body you're affecting. Trust me, if it's challenging and you feel like you might pass out from the heat or fall over, knowing what area you're focusing on can give you that strength to keep going.

I have driven down to Rama Lotus all the way from Almonte to experience their awesome classes. I highly recommend it! (But get there early on a Sunday afternoon, smartest move we made!)

All of this to also mention that thanks to the magic of Facebook, the punk rock blogger known as Karen read my status where I announced what I was doing today and she came too! So, I got to meet her (finally!) and I can now tell you with 100% certainty that she is as cool as she comes across in her blog. Not only is she stunning to look at (and she barely sweats!), but she is really genuine and genuinely nice.

A wonderful Sunday afternoon for this chick!

New Year, New Meme, New Attitude

This is easily the most easiest meme, ever! 

Easy peasy: Take the first sentence of the first post of each month in 2008 and post ‘em on your blog, along with a link to that post. (Let me know if you play along!)

January 2008: Right around this time of year, John goes through his usual list of all the bad things that happened to us in the last twelve months.

February 2008: He had had a nightmare. It was 2am and the entire house was dark except for his soccer ball nightlight.

March 2008: On Sunday it was clear my family had turned a corner.

April 2008: iTunes isn't working properly for me.

May 2008: Today I had to discpline Meghan.

June 2008: Tonight, Alex put his head on his pillow and asked me the same question he had asked since February.

July 2008: I got an email from Alison yesterday asking me where I have been.

August 2008: Last night, while sitting on the deck, we had Meg and Alex stand back to back.

September 2008: Alex is going through a hilarious new phase.

October 2008:  Since we moved in together in July of 1995 John and I have lived in a wide variety of dwellings.

November 2008: This week has been pretty hectic.

December 2008: Kristyn was born December 5.

A vote worth more than yesterday's, and it costs less too! - UPDATE

*** Voting is now closed ***

Congratulations to Charlene (my super cool friend and Alex's rockin' sitter)!

Her submission of "A Parently So" was my favourite and I'm so glad most of you agreed. I would have hated to have to skew the results!

____________________________________________

Holy Shit!

You guys are talented.

I've managed to narrow down your awesome suggestions to my top five favourite.  I did change some words here and there to better convey the point I'm trying to get across with just a few words. That said, we have a real contest on our hands here folks!

So vote vote vote!

A New Gig! Now with more contest.

Know what I love?

Local newspapers.

I am not lying. My favourite Saturday activity as a teen was to plop down with a peanut butter and banana sandwich, a huge glass of milk and the local newspaper.  I don't mean the Ottawa Citizen (or the like) either. I'm talking the fourteen page community newspaper that was hand delivered once a week.

I'm not sure I could pinpoint for you exactly why I love community newspapers so much.  It's a mixture of the local stories, off the cuff columns and the chance that you could spot yourself or someone you know in it's pages.  I still remember the day I almost choked on a banana after recognizing a photo of myself and the local Canadian Tire manager each holding on to my prize winning Christmas painting. You just can't beat that!

To this day, I still enjoy sitting down and pouring over our community newspaper. In these parts, that paper is called The Almonte Gazette.  Given that our town is small and I already know practically everybody, not a week goes by that I don't see someone I know.  Also, I don't mean to brag, by two of my children have graced the cover and our entire family has been either named or photographed on a few occasions. I know. We're rock stars.

One thing I've long thought the paper was missing was a parental edge. Someone to come in and rant/gush/philosophize about parenting and raising kids in the Almonte area.  So, I pulled up my big girl pants, got really really brave, and emailed the Associate Editor's wife. Okay, so I wasn't that brave, but I thought I would test the waters on a friend first.

In any case, she loved the idea and her husband was equally interested. We hammered out a few details (I say hammered, but really Phil is so easy going that he pretty much just said "Sure" and "we can do this monthly" and that was it) and you are now looking at The Almonte Gazette's newest columnist!

How's that grab ya, eh? Nifty, no?

Here's where I need your help.

Phil would like me to name my column.

Writing out random thoughts and whatever flotsam appears in front of me is easy. Naming a blog or column is not. Bread Crumbs In The Butter is, decidedely, the most creative name I could come up with.

Moyra and I brainstormed some ideas and I think we went in the right direction. I want something that speaks to my exasperation and enjoyment of parenting, but also reflects my snarky and occasionally crabby personality.

We yelled out things like:

What Did I Just Step In?

What's That Smell?

Mommy Mania

Mommy Needs A Time Out

See where I'm headed?

Here's the awesome part. If you throw out your suggestions I will put them out for a vote. The winning name will get an Almonte Theme Gift Pack, including some yummy local treats and a year's subscription to the Almonte Gazette, so that you can read my column once a month (it is a weekly paper, so you get the added bonus of hearing what tractor pulls are coming to town and seeing the adorable babies born!).

Let's hear it blogosphere! Blow me away in 3, 2, 1 ...

A list of things that are "Totally Tits"

When we saw the episode of Southpark where Cartman coins the phrase "totally tits", John ran away with it. He isn't yet at the point where he says it constantly, but when he finds out that it's circling the internet, he'll make it his new mission.

I wandered over to Ali's and saw that she had produced a very detailed (and fabulous) list of things she currently thinks are "tits".  And while I know I'm late in supplying a recap of the adventure race I did last weekend, complete with the story of running into two bears, I figured it would be a nice distraction to post my own list.

Here's what totally tits here in Almonte (to me anyway!):

- The La Senza Spirit Sports Bra.  Let's just say my tits go nowhere in this thing when I run or play hockey. Or fall off my bike.

- Miller Genuine Draft beer, poured into my favourite glass, with a lime. Freaking awesome.

- My kids kicky new LL Bean backpacks, complete with their names monogrammed into them.

- The Twilight Series of books. Holy shit. I've been staying up way too late to finish them and I'm almost there.  I'm in agreement with Ali about the movie though. I'm not completely thrilled with their choice of actors. I think it's a testament to Stephanie Meyer's skills as a writer though. She did such an amazing job describing the Cullens that you'd pretty much have to start new people from scratch to cast them perfectly.

- Crunchy peanut butter. I had forgotten what a treat this stuff is. 

- Sleeping in while it's raining outside.

- My beaten and battered body. This might confuse you. I've gotten stung by bees, bruised my arse from falling off my bike, hockey sticks to the shins, buts of hockey sticks to the ribs and a whole whack of scratches from various greenery along the way.  Why is it tits? Cause it makes me feel badass. Bad. Ass. At 33. 

Tell me now. What's on your list?

After The Show

I experienced Wicked last night.

You know how everyone, well most people, okay people who like theatre, have that one show that gives them a wistful look on their faces?  It's the one show they remember when they saw it for the time, what city, who the cast was and how many times they've seen it since then.

Wicked is officially mine.

It was amazing. I was told several times that it is completely different from the book and that is true, but it's equally magical. It just tells a slightly different story.

The characters of Elphaba and Galinda were perfectly played. The actress who played Galinda did a phenomenal job. Her slightly dorky and jerky movements were totally endearing and had me in stitches. Elphaba's sarcastic wit and self deprecating humour was perfectly timed and very smart.

All in all, I adored it.

I can't wait to see it again!

Wow. Where did I go?

I got an email from Alison yesterday asking me where I have been. Nonchalantly, I wondered what the fuss was about and came here to see if it had been that long since I had spilled it.

June 23, 2008.

Oops.

There's no excuse really. Well, maybe one. Soccer. Oh, and work. If you want to know why I haven't held you all captive with my words of wisdom, blame the Eastern Region Soccer League and Canada Post.

Once, when Kristyn and Erin were tiny tots in my double stroller, a well-meaning crazy mother of three kids aged six to thirteen was telling me to enjoy their babyhood - that it would all just get insanely busy once they got minds of their own and wanted to try every activity known to Almonte.  I thought she was nuts. How could it get any harder than having two babies?  They ate like crazy, shit like crazy and I was lucky to get a shower!

Let me tell you. She was right.

School aged kids can be a full time job!  Even if they're all limited to one or two activities that's a minimum of four separate commitments a week.  Right now wer'e juggling four soccer teams, swimming lessons and a few sports camps.  It's all fine and good, but it's cutting in to my writing, beer drinking and bill paying (so said that nasty automated bitch Emily from Bell).

Just like running and my own sports, I'm going to try to carve out my own time to write and be creative. If, for nothing else, my own sanity!

Things That Suck

• iTunes isn't working properly for me.  I've tried uninstalling it and reinstalling it seven times, but no matter what I do, I can't download music. I can't even sample songs to see if I like them. Some smartass with their support centre said that our satellite connection is properly not powerful enough to support the files and tanks out.  He wanted to know why we didn't just switch to wireless or cable high speed.  Yeah, cause I'm that stupid.  I'm sure he didn't appreciate my email back that told the story of how I could see his point and yes, yes, it is a shame that I live in CANADA and still don't have access to high speed internet and yes, yes, the Party Poker commercial of the man accessing the site on his WIRELESS LAPTOP in a jungle makes me want to scratch my eyes out. I never heard back.

• I'm in a huge funk. I feel overwhelmed and insecure and completely insane. This sucks huge.

• Meghan's allergy and asthma medication is costing us about $200 a month. No benefits sucks.

• My husband is understanding and caring and well ... perfect.  If you don't understand how annoying that can be, well, I can't help you.

• Really, number one is the one that sucks the most. The rest are just filler - but still pissworthy.

Know what doesn't suck though?  Nice emails from friends and amazing posts from friends telling me they think I don't suck and that they think about me when I'm gone.