Bread Crumbs In The Butter

Bullety, Edition 49; I have to catch you up

•   On Thursday I sat in a pew at our church and watched the first of my four children graduate from Grade 8 with top honours.  I handled it like a seasoned pro, very humble about my child's achievements. Which is to say I cried like mad when they showed her baby picture and did a huge first pump in the air when they called her name. 

• We are at just over a month until my little sister, Kelly and her family move in with us. They're crossing the country and expected to arrive beginning of August. I'm still wondering how I'll feel to have another beer loving fitness buff living right next door. Okay, who am I kidding? Its going to rock hard so spare me the irony of us both being beer loving fitness buffs.  Why do you think we run that much? To drink beer!

• I know I've told you I have a huge crush on my Blackberry. I love that thing. So, it won't surprise you to know that yesterday when a bottle of nailpolish came crashing out of the cupboard and fell onto it, cracking the screen, I cried even harder than when I saw Kristyn's baby picture on the big screen Thursday night. All is well though! Thanks to my friend Christina's tech savvy spouse, Dave, I ordered a new screen cover on Ebay and in 7-10 days I will be able to effectively read all of my BBMs! I challenge you to find anything Ebay can't do!

• School ends on Wednesday here (also my thirty-fifth birthday, thankyouverymuch!) and I'm so looking forward to the summer.  My kids get along so well lately and we have all sorts of free time? Do you believe me? I'm sure not.  Every single minute of every day is booked up and my kids go at each other like rabid hyenas hungry for the last wing of a pigeon. It's not pretty around here. It makes me yell and I hate to yell. (Don't believe that either. Yelling makes me feel bossy and I love being bossy.)

• Speaking of my birthday. I got a text last week that said just this "Eclipse. June 30 @10pm. I got us tix. Happy MotherEffing Birthday!"  If you don't have friends like that, I weep for you.

Eye To Eye

A month or two ago, Kristyn and I were standing next to each other, chopping vegetables for salad. I glanced over quickly as I spoke to her and noticed something. We were eye to eye. Now, Kristyn had shoes on and I didn't, but the fact remains, my thirteen year old daughter and I were standing at the same height. 

I don't know why I was so shocked. At thirteen I was the same height I am now, which is just shy of six feet tall. Kristyn now stands at just under 5'11" and I think she will grow just a bit more.

I'm stunned though because I'm just not sure when this happened. Just a few short years ago, she was a tiny toddler, nipping at my feet as I went about the business of being her mother. The contrast between those years and the present have me reeling in a way I didn't know I could.

She has long, lean and shapely legs.  I used to bite the baby fat on those legs as she laughed manically.

She has thick, gorgeous and rich coloured brown hair.  I used to put sunblock on her head because she was so bald. 

She has stunning, bright and knowing eyes. To me those eyes will always be the massive ones from her face as a baby, as she looked up at me when I fed her.

She has a wisdom that is well beyond her years. She is a refreshing combination of book smart and people savvy. I used to read to her and watch her struggle to get the words out as she had such a hard time learning to speak because of her hearing. 

She's also pleasantly (and sometimes hilariously) naive.  I used to wonder if her head was always in the clouds as we walked through our little life together. I had places to go, but she had bugs to watch and people to say hello to. She was never in a hurry, but I always was.

I've never wanted to slow down more.

It All Happened In Yew Nork - Part Two - Food

If you don't know me, it might shock you that I would have an entire post dedicated to the food that I ate while on vacation. If it shocks and delights you, keep reading. If it shocks and confuses you, move on, you won't find anything you like here.

Since returning from New York City, when asked how my trip was, I've immediately gone to the food.

"Oh my God. The food!" is about all I can stammer out because I'm too busy remembering the delicious food highs and comas I experienced while eating in New York City.

I don't know if food tasted better there because I was enjoying the carefree lifestyle of a wide-eyed traveler or if New Yorkers really do know how what they're talking about when it comes to eating. I'm going with a mixture of both on this one.

Our culinary tour started early Friday morning with a palette preparing amuse bouche. In girl road trip terms that means we downed shots as we left. Relax, they were shots of Bailey's. Perfect for morning and we all just had one. I may have finished Christina's but she was driving and wanted to take it easy.

From there we had a long six hour drive filled with much hilarity. At first. Once we hit NYC proper we were faced with Friday afternoon traffic as we searched for The Brooklyn Bridge. The long lines of cars provided much entertainment for me, but we all sort of hit a lull here. We were hot and tired and hungry.

Jen, our adorably gorgeous hostess for the weekend sensed we were famished. She dressed us quickly (seriously, she dressed us like we were dolls and we looked awesome!) and by subway we hit Pier 17 and Sequoia Restaurant.  Two of us were sick so after some Advil Cold and Sinus and a glass of wine, we were ready to chow down.

I had linguine with clams. It was delicious. So delicious I wolfed it down and didn't get any photos, but this girl is a happy girl, yes?

That's me on the right looking pale and sallow next to Jaime, the tanned wonder.

Moving on...

After overdosing on carbs, we weren't ready for dessert so we poked around Manhattan for a bit. I was awestruck and I didn't know where to look first. Lights. Sounds. People. Smells. People. Did I mention there are people everywhere?

At some point along our walk, Jen came up with the idea that we needed sugar. Badly.

She took us to sugar heaven, actually, chocolate heaven. I think Max Brenner at Union Square is where Willy Wonka goes when he doesn't want to cook.

Now, I'm not a big chocolate eater. I like it fine, but it's not the first place I go when on the hunt for sweets. Did I care as we enjoyed an indescribable chocolate fondue complete with fixings for sm-ores, including a mini hibachi? Um, no. I mean, look!

 

There was FIRE. And MARSHMALLOWS. And GRAHAM CRACKERS.

We were satisfied traveling girls at this point. A bit stuffed, so we enjoyed walking around, taking it all in.

Wanna see what I took in?

A serious desire to eat here.

 

Now, I know most Canadians call KFC "Dirty Bird", so I took this photo for John, but really I want to go back to NYC just so I can walk by when this restaurant is open. Read the menu, you'll see why. 

Saturday was filled with walking and shopping and sweating. It was ridiculous hot. We had Glee that night, so we wanted to be sure we were back on time and not too hungry, since we wouldn't be eating again until after the show.

We poked around Union Square some more and found The Heartland Brewery.  There was very little wait and air conditioning, so we were happy just being there.  Our waitress was adorable and accommodating. She snapped pictures and listened to us gush about Glee and Max Brenner.

Peckish, but without reasonable cravings we ordered one of every appetizer on the menu. So wise. Just so wise.  The deep fried pickles? Mind-numbingly awesome. I dream of them. I really do.

Say "Draft beer and pickles!"

After a delicious meal, we decided it was time to head back to Brooklyn to pretty up for our date with Puck, Finn and the rest of the Glee cast. (I will save that for another post!)

My point right now is that after Glee, we went into the Meat Packing District of Manhattan. It's a big hit amoungst club-goers, which I do enjoy,  but really, it's a big hit with those who like to eat

The Diner in The Meat Packing District is where I had a seared tuna sandwich on toasted seven grain bread that I am STILL talking about.  It rocked my world. I swear, I almost cried it was that good. Ask my travel-mates and our hostess, I was a big mess while eating it because it was all I talked about. That has to be annoying as hell!

Our next meal was to be Sunday brunch at a restaurant called the Sunburnt Cow, but we missed our reservation and the pissy hostess was not in a mood to be sweet-talked by the lovable Jen. I won't go on about what a bitch she was, because this is a post about food and it's supposed to be happy.

Like so many things on this trip, fate intervened and we ended up having a far far better meal at a little cafe called Matilda Cafe.  From the atmosphere, to the owners to the food, it was a pleasure from beginning to end. The owners are a wonderful couple with a daughter named Matilda and they made sure we were satisfied, stuffed and a little drunk on mimosas and a lovely mango drink called The Matilda.

After much deliberation I ordered the Uova in Camicia. Which is two homemade flour tortillas, chorizo, poached eggs covered in a chipotle-fresca sauce.

It almost beat the tuna sandwich. ALMOST. 

Sunday afternoon called for Lianne's return home, which sucked. So, we were down one and decided to stay in Brooklyn for the evening. Jen wanted to show us DUMBO, which stands for Down Under The Manhattan Bridge Overpass. A very cute little neighbourhood that brought us to Ignazio's. Where we had pizza.

Pizza I cannot describe. 

I'm not a huge pizza fan. I think it's the sauce. Red sauces don't really turn my crank and I find a lot of pizza too saucy.

But people, I almost a whole medium to myself.

Christina and I made our own pizza. We had applewood smoked bacon, roasted red peppers and caramelized onion. I made a pig of myself.

Jen and Jaime topped theirs with basil and pepperoni. I had some of that too.

I had so much pizza I needed to walk home to work the turkey through. I'm not kidding!

The next day I have no food pictures of because my camera battery died, but there was street meat and frozen yogurt and coffee.  All things that I have never tasted anything like before.

Like I said, I don't know what it was about the food in NYC, but I was one satisfied girl when I got back. So much so that I look at Tim Horton's coffee with a bit of scorn. It just doesn't compare to the coffee at the little deli in Brooklyn.

It All Happened In Yew Nork

The Big Glee In NYC Weekend was this past weekend.

I'm going to need several posts to bring you up to speed.  One for New York City itself. One for Glee itself. One for the food we ate, cause people, the food? Delicious doesn't even cut it.  Food hasn't tasted the same in Canada and we have poutine here, so that says a lot! 

But first, I have to write a post I started formulating at about 8:29am on Friday morning.  You see, Christina picked me up at 6:45am with Jaime pinging with excitement in the passenger seat. From here we ventured to Barrhaven to down a few shots of Bailey's and then start the long trek down toward the city that never sleeps.

Have you experienced a long car ride with four giddy thirty-somethings with the mindsets of  teenagers as horny as those on their way to a Justin Bieber show? We were all about the innuendo and misconstruing everything that came out of our mouths.

Which is why I suggested we have a book on hand to record these little nuggets. You see, when I lived in residence our floor had a big board that we could write such things on. This wall was frequently visited and oft made readers laugh their asses off.

Lucky you, I decided to share some of the best ones from this trip.

For clarification, our cast of characters include myself, CH; Lianne, LEW; Jaime, JT; and Christina, CBH.

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CH:  "Lianne is chewing on her Starbucks Plug." (The little doohickey Starbucks designed to put in your cup hole so that you don't spill coffee all over yourself as you walk to your car. Ingenious really.)

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JT: "Lianne and Chantal, you guys are sleeping on a blow up bed." And you know, this isn't that funny, until you see the hand gesture Jaime does as she says "blow up bed".  I will let you work that out in your head rather than show you the drawing Lianne did in the book.

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LEW: "My son's hearing is in the normal range!"

CH: "WHAT!?" (In my defense, my ears popped as we hit the Catskills. In everyone elses defense, we may only have been in Brockville at this point.)

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CBH: "Big Ass, Big Hair." (Said in a highly appropriate Rosie O'Donnell in Beautiful Girls type rant.

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CBH: "Pull over and see if there is a bird in our grill!" We hit a bird. Did I need to explain that?

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CH: "Pigeon is the redneck chicken."  See above. We hit a pigeon in Utica and well, we saw some rednecks. 

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CBH: "I hope you don't mind me reaching between your legs to grab a piece." Lianne had Reese's Pieces between her legs, in a bag, from Bulk Barn. I just kept having to clarify there, didn't I?

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LEW:  "Utica smells like asparagus pee."

CH: "And is full of ugly people!"  No offense intended to any Uticans here. We just happened to hit Wendy's at the wrong time. 

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CH (about a tollbooth clerk): "Is that a man or a woman?"

CBH: "No boobies. Definitely a man."

CH: "Good call!"

CBH: "Did you say big cock?"

CH: "No, I said good call!"

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J: "It will be a while. We haven't even hit Florida yet."

All of us: "Florida?"

J: ''I mean YEW NORK!"  From that point on, we were in Yew Nork no matter where we were. 

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CH: "Knights In White Satin is my horny song." (For the record, Lovers In A Dangerous Time is Christina's)

LEW: "You mean by Gino Vanelli?"

CH: "No, dummy, by The Moody Blues!"

LEW: "What Does Gina Vanelli sing?"

CH: "Wild Horses?"

LEW: "Wild Horses, White Satin. Same thing."

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At Starbucks along the Interstate.

JH: "I'll have a Grande skinny vanilla skinny latte, please."

Barista: "Hawt?"

JH: "What?"

Barista: "Hawt?"

JH: "HUH?"

Barista (rather indignantly): "HAWT!?" 

Jaime looks over at Christina begging for help.

CBH: "Do you want it H.O.T. Hot?"

JH: "Oh! I thought she was asking if I wanted a HAT."

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CH: "If you look up 'redneck' in the phone book (phone book, really?), that's what you'd see!"

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Along the streets of Brooklyn.

CH: "I just stepped in something EPIC."

I still don't know what it was. My foot was wet. There was something on my foot and my shoe, but there was no puddle. I think it fell from the sky or materialized magically just before it splatted all over me. It was disgusting and puzzling. 

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CBH: "I got bird on my grill and coon in my undercarriage!"

We hit LOTS of wildlife as we drove. Actually, it was while Christina was driving, not anyone else. I think she's got it in for them. 

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The best experience of words by far didn't even belong to us.  It belonged to a girl on the streets of NYC, holding a cell phone to hear ear, wielding a very pregnant belly and a young child in a stroller.

She yelled into her cell phone "Watch yo fucking mouth! Your balls ain't black enough fo' me (expletive name). YO BALLS AIN'T BLACK ENOUGH."

 I was stunned. I was sure this was street theater. Turns out it's just NYC at 1am!

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Still to come, Glee, The Shopping and FOOD.