It can suck being married sometimes.
Even though you've been together almost longer than you haven't, there are days when you look at that person and think "Who are you?".
It doesn't matter what strong foundation you have, it can just be hard work, and there are days when you don't want to work at it. You want to walk away and go to bed mad, not caring about any sort of marital golden rules.
During some arguments, we can see in each other's eyes that we want to hurt with words. We want to get into a volley match of hateful things, but we both breathe in and out and sigh loudly before toning our opinions down. There have been times where I've wanted to yell out "Just the sight of your face right now makes me want to hurl a frying pan at it", but I've settled for "Oh my God, you just don't get it! And please, get a freaking haircut!" It doesn't matter how sensical the argument is, we're both going to argue the other's points until we're exhausted.
Life gets busy. At times, chaos rules. Especially when you have young children. John and I are guilty of playing the "Who has it worse?" game. I'll be yelling out that I would love to throw myself under a bus and come back as him and he'll be screaming that a lot of women would be thrilled to have a husband who works from home, even if it means he has to work all the time. It's our biggest bone of contention and we're in the thick of another cycle. It affects my days, my moods and my dreams and makes me sad. The negative stuff is all I see. I don't see him putting gas in my truck or watering the flowers. I see him ignoring the dishwasher and sleeping in while I'm getting the girls ready for school. He doesn't see me making him coffee in the morning and putting it next to him in bed. He sees me suggesting I another activity to make us busier and keep our days full.
Ebbs. Flows. Cycles. Changes. Rough patches. Yes, sure. All of it.
But really, it can suck being married sometimes.
