Bread Crumbs In The Butter

Wanna Start A Cult?

I've got 90 acres of land here. A big barn we can turn into a place of worship. A good idea. Here it is:  If you pray to the "Blogging Gods" it will be done!

This is the Field Of Dreams of this century!

Two nights in a row my kids have all gone to bed without fuss. Alex has willingly gotten into bed and said "Doog Nye, Mommee" after peeing, pooping and getting water.  Erin limited her 8pm health crisis to just one and it was that her big toenail felt a bit loose. Kristyn and Meg are never a problem as both fall asleep before I close the door.

See?  I've hit on something big here.

Some of you said you would follow me in all I do if this worked. So where are you?

Dear Blogging Gods

Today is Monday. It's a no bus day to boot. The school is open, so I was a good Mom and drove them to school. Soon I will leave to pick them up. Again, like a good Mom.

Since it is Monday that means Erin and Kristyn have dance and basketball tonight. We will have to eat a very quick early dinner. Since John is not here, I have to take Alex and Meghan with me. I will bribe them with Timbits and the Nintendo at the dance school and with shooting baskets at basketball practice.

If I promise not to yell, take deep breaths and just be pleasant in general saying things like "Oh! Are you okay?" as I pull on their coats to make them move faster, will you grant me the wish of having them go to sleep by 8:30pm?  I won't grit my teeth as they brush theirs. I won't freak out if Meghan wants to wear her princess crown to bed and wear her clothes to bed. Even if they are the same clothes she wore all weekend! I won't get mad at Alex when he decides to have a big poop five minutes after I tuck him. I'll even be gentle when I wipe his bum.

If you let this happen tonight, them going to bed without fuss. I promise to sit on the couch, drink a beer and cut out crafts for them to work on tomorrow. Really. I will.

Deal? Deal? DEAL.

Thank you!

Stand in the place where you blog

Jess inspried me to showcase where I blog (oh, and where we handle customer orders and make money too. Right).

I have two favourite rooms in this house (well three, but I'm not gonna share photos of my bed). One of them is the laundry room/mud room, which is easily 6 times the size as the one in our former house.

The other is the kitchen. Mostly cause I love to cook and it too is much bigger. Also, because I have a desk for my computer in it. Right next to the pantry. Right next to my secret chocolate stash.

So often my kids come around the corner right to the left of the desk to look for me. I'm usually there or cooking something, but 90% of the time I'm in the kitchen or hiding from them in the bathroom.

So there you go. A small peek into my little corner of Canada.

Stop being so loud, Douchebag!

When Alex comes up behind me, screaming and hollering about some injustice in his almost 3 year old world and then wipes his snotty nose on my jeans, I melt. I wonder why we didn't have four more just like him.

It's Friday here on the Farm and that means my kids are celebrating by being extra loud. Screaming. Laughing. Farting. Calling each other "Poopooface!" and "Douchebag!". That last one is my fault, but do you know how cute your son yelling out "Douchebag!" is?

But I digress ... dinner is waiting. I made this for dessert tonight. It's the only reason I will bother eating what I made as a main course. I made it a few weeks ago and Erin ate so much she had a tummy ache that night and felt like throwing up. That's my girl right there.

Don't outright feel sorry for him. Maybe just feel a bit bad.

I've come to the conclusion that John can't win. I've never claimed to be a peach to live with, but I've finally admitted to myself (in my head and to you internet, but not to him) that he just doesn't have a chance at saying the right thing.

For instance; If I spend all day long cleaning the house and he comes in proclaiming "Holy Cow! The house looks great. You must have worked so hard?"  I will then think "What is he talking about? Does this mean he thinks I don't work hard every other day? What an asshole!"

On the other hand, should I do the same and say he says nothing I get pissed off cause he doesn't praise my accomplishment at cleaning the entire house and having it still look even a bit orderly. What an asshole!

See? I can be a real cow.

I'm fresh off what I call My Two Days Thinking I Was Having A Stroke. See, I've never had a migraine, so Tuesday night had me having a panick attack when one hit. I'm not kidding. I really did think I was having a stroke or aneurism.  I started to lose my breath (and touch with reality) and completely freaked out.  What did I do when this happened? I picked up the phone and called my Mom crying and blubbering that I was afraid of dying. I didn't go to my husband or go to bed. I called my Mom.

To all of you who suffer from migraines on a regular basis, I bow to you. How you deal with it is beyond me.  I'm feeling better now, but my brain is a bit bruised I think.

This is why you should pack while your kids are otherwise occupied

John and I enjoyed a fabulous weekend away the past few days. My Mom gave John two "weekend" vouchers for Christmas. One for January and one for February. We headed down to Northern New York.  We got to sleep in a hotel, eat food while laughing at people with kids and shop. We also checked out some auctions for John, which bores me, but he balanced it out by saying "Hey, there's a big mall here".  Spending money is a sure way to get me a) happy and b) horny.

We had a really good time.

Now, the reason for my title. I packed my little suitcase with Alex and Meghan in the room. I didn't think they had paid much attention until Sunday morning when I went to put on clean socks and underwear.  My underwear were not there, but there were some cute Spiderman underwear.  My socks were not there either, but I got to wear Kristyn's soccer socks all day long.  I also had with me some plastic dinosaurs, some Duplo pieces and a Barbie head.  What's sad is that it made me miss my kids and I wanted to go home.

Of course, I was in the door 5 minutes and I wanted to go back!

Modifying my plans for the day since we have one kid home sick

Since yesterday was a no bus day and the roads were what I imagine Hell freezing over to be like, I didn't do all the things I wanted to (go for a run, groceries, etc...). Instead we spent the afternoon in the ER with Alex getting blood drained from his toenail as he had dropped a 1.5 litre can of apple juice on his big toe.  It was fine, I would just do it all today.

Until Kristyn woke up puking at midnight.

So she is home sick and I rearranged my plans.

Here they are now:

• Clean pukey sheets (Done - alot of gagging ensued)
• Sit on my ass and refresh Post Secret until he finally adds new ones (still doing it)
• Read Go Fug Yourself and laugh at the Golden Globes entries
• Use the word "conjecture" twice. (Done)
• Shower. (Thinking about it).

Seriously. My house is clean. The laundry is all put away. My work is all done. I'm always behind on these things. What has happened to me?

He made my day again! What are the odds?

Remember back in April when someone made my day by paying for my coffee at Tim Horton's?

Today I was getting gas and recognized the truck next to mine (it was a business truck). I thought for a second and remembered who he was. He was in the store, but I knew I had to hurry and get in there. I wanted to thank this guy because, as you know, I remember that day so fondly.

I pumped my gas and went inside. He was standing paying for his gas. I felt like a giggly moron, but I said "Excuse me. Back in Spring, you paid for my coffee ahead of me at Tim's in CP. I just wanted to say thank you. You really made my day. I told everyone I knew about it."

He said "I remember. Yep."

I said "Do you do stuff like that all the time? Make people's day by buying them coffee?" as I signed the receipt.

And he (totally!) said "Nope." and then winked at me.

I had a brief wave of wanting to hump him in my truck (he was sorta cute), but by then he was gone. So I just strutted my way out of the store. Yeah baby.

Ride Like The Wind!

Kristyn's latest move is jumping on Magic. I saw the small jumps, but according to John, today they did 12" jumps. That's a foot of horse off the ground!  I didn't get to see it as I was at the Sacrament enrollment Mass, listening to Alex talk about his farts beneath the pews.

Here's what we saw last week though:

Or rather, didn't see. She goes pretty fast. (It makes my chest ache).

It's about -400 Celcius here today. That's "Really Fucking Cold" in Farenheit. Actually, I think we might be at the point where the two join together. Which means, the kids are all inside, going wild and driving me insane. I guess it's better than being outside in weather where snot freezes in 13 seconds, but still.

Making smart financial decisions blows!

You know, before we had kids we weren't this financially sensible. We ate through a filthy amount of money and had alot of fun doing it. What happened to us?

January seems so long to us this year. Usually, during this month, we all head down to Florida for two weeks of doing nothing.  We eat, shop, sleep, play with the kids in the pool and drive around aimlessly until someone says "Let's go there!"

Not so this year. See, the lease is up on our of our vehicles and cause we need to have two vehicles to transport kids here and there, we're buying it out. Humbug. 

So we've started being really bitter about it.  If we hear any sort of ad for a seat sale on Air Canada or all inclusive tour packages, we both yell out "Stupid red van!".   

So now Alex and Meghan have taken to yelling out "STUPID RED VAN!" to every red minivan we see.  I don't stop them cause, well, woe is the bitter housewife.

Hey, did you know that Delurking Week is  over?  I've tried to go round and leave comments on blogs I hadn't outed myself on yet and failed shamefully.  Wanna stroke my ego and delurk here?