Bread Crumbs In The Butter

Is it still drinking alone if the kids are in the house, just asleep?

There's one of those tasty Smirnoff Twist things in my fridge, just waiting for me.

I went to the gym today, which I don't normally do on Tuesday, but we were having a showing and I needed to be out. It was as hot as a you know what in there (yeah, starts with mother, ends with fucker) and I was cursing myself for thinking I was all big and bad for running that race in such a good time.

As I was running, the (very hot) personal trainer came around the desk, up the stairs and into the machine area. He came right next to me, hopped on the treadmill next door and said "Take the earphones off."  So I did.

"You have a phone call. It's your husband." He said. **

I don't carry my cell into the gym, so the phone call was at the front desk. I immediately panicked.  I almost fell off the treadmill when the trainer said "It's okay. Everyone is okay. The real estate agent is trying to show your house, but the screen door is locked."

Okay, much better. I made my way to the desk, apologized profusely to John and said I would be right over to unlock the back door. I guess I had locked the screen door so that Alex could not get out and then when we left for the showing, I locked the front door from inside and we went out the garage.  I do that alot, cause it's easier to click the button rather than try to lock the door while Alex darts out into the road.

I felt like such a retard. Just par for the course is what everyone was thinking. Look at Chantal, she's so cute and forgetful. I don't think it's cute. I do try so hard. Ugh.

Speaking of Alex darting, this kid is becoming a master escape artist. All of us are on cons-tat alert because he finds new ways to leave this house every day.  We simply cannot cage this kid and it freaks me out. He's been a darter since he could walk and the only time I am truly at ease is when he is asleep or with his Dad somewhere out of the house.

It does make me look forward to when he has 90 acres to dart as he pleases and I won't have a coronary when he does it. Just over a month till we move! (Oh and one month till I turn 30, but we're not talking about that as I am still searching for someone to sell my soul to for that not to happen).

**What surprised me most in retrospect is that when John called, he said the trainer knew who I was immediately and came right over. He knew who I was. That makes me blush and feel silly. (Heehee).

I will prattle on... get a beverage!

I'm so behind on updating that I am at the point where I have so much to say, I probably shouldn't even bother.

What a week!

First things first. Yesterday was the MDS Nordion 5K race. The race was at 5pm. At 4:30pm it was pouring rain in downtown Ottawa and I am a big pussy when it comes to running in the rain. I hate it. However, at 4:45pm the heavens opened up and a beautiful glow of sunshine shone down on the 4,735 people at the start line.

I am not a fan of big crowds, but I was less anxious than I thought. I kept reminding myself that running 5K was no big deal for me. I do it three times a week.  This was my first actual race and a learning experience.

I did learn so much. So much that I cannot wait to race again.

My results? I am very proud of my results. I crossed the finished line at number 1,824. My gun time was 35:03 and my chip time (a small chip that you attach to your shoe that clocks your actual time that you cross the start and finish lines) was 32:41.

Considering I was a bit shell shocked at the beginning of the race and really didn't get running until about a 1/2K in, I am very happy.

I did find crossing the finish to be a bit anti-climactic. John said he expected me to raise my arms in triumph a la Chariots Of Fire, but I just crossed and started to walk as I would if I was at home. Having said that, as I neared the finish and heard the cheers I did get tingles and my chest felt a bit tight - it was pretty exciting to see it there.

Now, the week before. It was very stressful. I don't even have a snarky remark for how stressful it was.

Kristyn and Erin are both playing soccer in Almonte this year, as we are moving there in less than a month now. We wanted them to make friends before school.  Problem is, Kristyn plays Monday and Wednesday and Erin Tuesday and Thursday. Meaning, I have to drive 30 minutes for games and practices every weeknight.  That also means I will not get to play outdoor soccer this year and that is Thursday nights. Ah well, I hate the bugs anyhow.

Tuesday night, while on our way to the farm, Kristyn announced she had a very sore ear and it was leaking goo. When I decided to take her to the ER at the Almonte General Hospital (they do not have a walk-in, everyone uses the ER), I noticed Alex was a bit warm.

Got Kristyn to the ER, found out it was an hour wait, which we did not have time for. Kristyn insisted she was okay. So we left.  I took the kids to the farm to stay with John and brought Erin to her practice. I left my cell in the van to charge.

After practice, I looked at my phone and noticed I had missed 17 calls.  It ran in my hand.  It was John who said "You need to come to the hospital now. Alex had a seizure."

That ride is a blur in my head.

I ran into the ER to find my baby boy laying on a gurney, asleep. John said that Alex got up on the couch at the farm and slumped over vomit-ting. When John picked him up his eyes went back in his head and he went limp.  He piled everyone into his Dad's Jeep (his truck doesn't have enough seats for three kids) and when they got to the ER Alex was unconscious. The doctor's grabbed for him and did their thing while John basically freaked out.

When I got there, the nurse quickly told me that he had had a febrile seizure. Being a Mom, I relaxed a bit because I know that meant it was most likely nothing serious and just a reaction to a sudden rise in body temp (his temp was 39.7 C when he arrived).  John still didn't understand, but we reassured him some more.  I think the entire scene still haunts him. He said it was the worst day of his life. (Typing that now brought tears to my eyes as I remember John's face when he said that.)

To make this shorter, Alex is 100% okay. Within an hour of some Tylenol and Advil, he was giving the nurses shit for taking too long with his soda and singing Spider Man to everyone who would listen.

Then there was the birthday hoopla, problems with soccer registration, three showings on the house and another ER trip for Kristyn last night. She was in so much pain. She is finally on a good dose of antibiotics and some codeine for her ear. The doc said her ear is just a mess and I fear we're looking at tubes *again* for her.  I have to call the ENT in the morning. Poor kid.

So you know what? If I can make it through a week like that and still rock a 5K race, I can do pretty much anything.

I can't thing of a snappy ending for this entry, so I will just finish off here...

"Am I Finally Four Now?"

I decided it would be really neat to post this at exactly 9:49pm.

Why?

Because that means this post will appear exactly 4 years after Meghan Elizabeth did.

8lb 4oz, 22.75" long and one stubborn kid. Born persistantly posterior and screaming her head off. She had a tonne of hair. Like this:

She's grown cuter every day:

...and now she's four and she's so happy about it!

Happy Birthday Meghan!

(Crazy events the last couple of days. Some scary stuff. Will post that tomorrow. Today is Meghan's day.)

My kingdom for a clone!

Have they made any progress on human cloning yet? Can I get me some of that action?  I understand clones might be a bit off, but I'm okay with a dimmer version of me if it means getting everything done.

Meghan's 4th birthday is in two days (also my duty day at preschool), her party will be Thursday morning. I haven't shopped for supplies. I planned to do that today, but being the dim actual me, I forgot it was Victoria Day and everything is closed.

We have a showing today at 2pm. I don't have to do much more than make the beds and vaccum, but it's raining so I have to find something indoorsy to do for an hour. I'm sure I can take the kids to a bar, right?

After a big kerfuffle, the girls soccer season start tonight. For the entire summer we will be at the field every weeknight. This also means that I cannot play outdoor soccer this year. It sucks, but there just isn't time.

The race is in 5 days and I don't think I will have any time to run this week. This should be alot of fun. Tip top shape I'll be in.

We went out for dinner with friends on Saturday night. The restaurant was within walking distance so we did. In the rain. The lengths we will go to drink. Following dinner we went to a local pub for pitchers. The walk home was quite the adventure. I had very loud hiccups and we encountered a skunk.  Halfway home we decided our behavior was not appropriate for the parents of four children and tried to be serious. The hiccups made that hard though.

I would give my right arm for a nap today. Do you think Alex will lay quietly with me in bed while I sleep?  I don't either.

Are these the choices I signed up for?

I have a bit of a vent about the finale of The Apprentice.

Miss Universe Pageant or remodeling one of The Donald's homes? 

Come on!

Tana looked like she would sell her kids to get her hands on that pageant (so she could no doubt Bedazzle the shit out of those world costumes).  Kendra though, had an undeniable look that said "Dude, where's the freaking COMPANY I'm supposed to run!?"

Season One's Bill Rancic is overseeing the construction of a new building on the former Chicago Sun-Times site.  Season Two's Kelly Perdew is managing several buildings and overseeing Donald's newest company, selling bottled water.

Is the Donald trying to tell me that had he been left with say... Alex and Craig that these would be the two options? I doubt it.

You know, I don't doubt that both projects are near and dear to Donald's heart, but I was really hoping that the first woman he hired would be given a project with just as much meat on it as the first two.

Not impressed was I with the finale. (Oh yeah, Star Wars rocked!)

2am revelations and the miracle of Children's Motrin

You would think that having four kids would mean I know a thing or two about them ... right?  Not so much.

I had a sudden realization at 2am last night. Alex was awake for the third time since I had put him to bed and I had yet to fall asleep. He was crying and whining and it hit me... "Chantal, you ass, he's teething!"  Sure enough he had some swollen gums and no sign of the molars they get at 2 years old.

I trudged downstairs and filled the glorious dropper with Motrin. He sucked it back, kind of like he knew - he gave me a look that said "Geez lady, it's about time you got the hint!".  He then fell deep asleep and stayed that way until 9am.

Crazy busy weekend coming up. Filled with good things. Tomorrow we venture out with the two big girls to see Star Wars (It started today. Did you hear?). Saturday we've got a sitter and we're steppin' out for dinner and drinks with friends. The restaurant is a stone's throw from our house which means we can walk (read: stumble) home!

So, about a hundred years ago, Canada had a Queen and we loved her. This long weekend, have a drink (or two!) in her honour. If you want to be truly authentic, make sure it's beer, eh?

Open up your ears and clean out your eyes...

...only today, it's not so nice to be alive.

There was a time, a time we rarely talk about in this house, where Alex didn't sleep. I would not be exaggerating if I said Alex slept about 4 hours a night. This went on for 18 months and got slowly better. To a point where for about 5-6 months, he sleeps more than most teenagers. Life was good.

Yesterday, I talked about it. I bragged that Alex was sleeping fantastically to a friend.  Oh cruel fates; Why do you mock me!?

Anyhow, it wasn't all Alex. He didn't wake up till 4am (and he is still going strong at 9am). Before that it was just me and my thoughts. Staring at the ceiling. Listening to John snore. Going over the political events of the day.

Damn. What a day, eh? Today rocked. I've been a strong supporter of Belinda Stronach since she arrived on the political scene. Her Progressive Conservative views were the only thing attaching me to the new party. Even though I felt my views were alienated by The Conservative Party of Canada I was on the fence as to whether I would actually vote against them. She kept me on that fence.

That we still live in a world where a strong, independent woman is called a "whore" for having wealth and political ambition infuriates me. Where is the "pat on the back respect" given to Lucien Bouchard and Jean Charest? 

To me, The Conservatives without Stronach are just the Reform in a fancy new suit. Stephen Harper is just a robot Manning clone.

Bring on the election!

I'm going to run this morning and then hopefully (please please please) Alex will have a nap while Meghan is at preschool. We'll see how that pans out. 

Over analyzing

On the 28th, I'm participating in the National Capital Race Weekend. Last night, I had a dream that I missed my event, and when I got there I was determined to run it anyway.

As I was running, I recognized the friends I am running with way ahead of me. One of them yelled out "Chantal, you made it! But, where are your clothes?"

I was freaking naked. Naked and late for the race.

I've been feeling a bit stressed and out of control of my life lately. Can you tell?

Shitty Day

I've had a shitty day. Beyond shitty actually. It just sucked ass.

That our house is for sale and we haven't had many showings turned out to be the least of our worries (though, it is such a pretty house. Why doesn't anyone want to see it?).

I made a huge mistake with our business that cost us alot of money. The kind of mistake where you send employees home because the mistake is so big you might not be able to pay them. That big.

John is being supercool about it. At first I could tell he was really mad because he didn't yell, swear or rant. He was just quiet. A reasonably pissed off John will rant and rave. A so-mad-he-can't-speak John will just give you a look that could melt ice.  Once we figured out the problem and a way to band-aid it for now, he relaxed and went really easy on me.

That he is being so great just makes me feel worse. Know why? Cause I dissappointed him. I hate that even more than when he bitches at me for things I can't control. Cause I controlled this and dropped the ball.

I didn't run today. Come to think of it, I didn't shower. I have been stress eating (a whole bag of Miss Vickie's chips, a bag of Andes Mints and a big steak so far. I have my eye on some M&M Peanut Butter ice cream next).

And that's my day. I am tired now. I think I might get drunk.

Touching parent moments that almost make you weep.

A few weeks ago, during "Education Week" at the girls' school, we attended the Open House Night. They gather all the parents in the gym and one by one the classes perform skits and sing songs.

During Erin's performance of "What Colour Is God's Skin?", I did something I used to pride myself on not doing. I cried. Seeing and hearing my daughter sing words so innocent and sweet made my eyes well up. It's not that I was proud, which I was. It's not that I thought it was sweet, which I did.  It was the harsh realization that my kids won't always be that innocent.  There will come a time when they will realize that the words they are singing aren't so for everyone. Right at that moment I wanted to run up and hug her and smell her and remember it forever.

Right now my kids believe (mostly) that the World is only good. They think 50 Cent's song "Candy Shop" is really about candy. Bad people are only in movies. If someone is mean to you, just tell a parent or teacher and someone will listen.  Conflict can be solved because Mommy or Daddy will help.

Soon enough they're going to learn that while people are inherently good (at least I still hope so), some of people really suck.  I guess if they get to that place and realize it's not all good, but handle it with maturity and grace, I've done my job, right?

Man, this parenting stuff is hard.

Yesterday, I had the distinct Mommy pleasure of watching Erin in her annual dance recital. We waited thirty-two numbers to see less than five minutes of performance. It was so worth it. Afterward, they presented certificates to the CDTA Exam participants and Erin was the only one in her grade to receive Highly Commended. She beamed! Of course, John and I were the only ones who stood up, jumped and yelled "Yeah Erin, you rock!".  She didn't look one bit embarrassed. She just waved back and gave us a thumb's up.

Here is my little ballerina in her Nutcracker March outfit: