Did you know that's what they are calling 36 years old now? 36 is how old I will be this Thursday.
Honesly, turning 40 doesn't scare me. Neither does inching toward it ever so quickly. I have four children and I haven't broken one yet! Nothing scares me.
Besides, at 36 years old, I still:
- Have all my teeth and I've never had a cavity.
- I've never broken a bone.
- The boobs? Still firm and, most days, still pointing where they should be.
- I can laugh, cry and be frightened while maintaing decent bladder control.
- I can still go drink for drink with John. He'll even pass out way before I do!
- On occasion, I still get carded at the LCBO and Beer Store.
- I have been places with my fourteen year old daughter and been asked if we are sisters.
Having said all that, and in the defence of time and age, I have found myself saying the following in recent months:
- "What are those kids doing out at midnight?What are they doing on the street at 12:00am that they could be doing at 8:00pm?"
- "Those hoodlums!"
- "It's 9:30, I'm turning in. Goodnight."
- "Pass me the Tiger Balm?"
- "It's going to storm today, I can feel it in my knee."
- "God, the music in here is loud! I mean, we can dance, but what if we just want to talk?"
- "Oh here, I have gum and kleenex in my purse."
If anything, I take all of the above statements and consider them like this: I will always be well rested, I will never get mugged on the street at 12:00am and if you have to sneeze, I'm your clean-up girl. All that aside, I promise to never, ever,
use my spit and thumb to clean off any of your faces.