The Best Of Me

Often, I hear my kids in another room and I wince. I can hear some of my own irritations and and frustrations in their voices. The worst parts of myself, they are learning to mimic and it makes me shudder. Several time I've caught Meghan with her hands on her hips asking "What were you thinking when you did that?" - and let's not even go near the swearing, okay?

The other day though, I heard Meghan say to Erin "That dance move was awesome. Do you know how much you rock?".  My heart soared and I wanted to drop the dish sponge and run in there to thank her for reminding me that they don't just reflect the worst of me. They also reflect the best.

Kristyn won't stop a job until it's done. If she starts planting a flower bed, she's not stopping until the last begonia is in the ground, the plants are watered and everything is put away. She's the first person to say "Why should we stop now? We're almost there!"

Erin requires no prompting when waking up. You go in, tap her on the shoulder and she's the first one out of bed.  She doesn't waste time lazing around and squeezing every last moment of sleep. She knows that the faster she gets up, the faster she can eat and get ready. Often, she's the one I call upon to help with the others because she's ready that much earlier.

Meghan is very competitive. If she's part of a team or involved in anything that requires concentration and agility, she'll give it her all. She might not be the best one out there (but she usually is), but it's guaranteed she's trying her hardest and will do what she needs to do to achieve a goal. She's a team player and give it her all, expecting the same in return.

Alex is highly in tune with what is fair. He wants to be sure that everyone gets an equal chance. He will stand up for himself and everyone around him. He has little tolerance for bullies (even if he can occasionally be a bit of a pain himself) and wants to be sure everyone knows when and injustice has occured. Don't confuse him with a tattle-tale though (but give him a bit of slack there for being a five year old), he's just that passionate about everyone being treated the same.

Most days, I'll tell you that the best characteristics about my kids come from their father. Kristyn and Meghan's patience. Erin and Alex's quick wit and senses of humour.  Everyone once in a while though, and not often enough, I'll see parts of me. My intensity, my passion and how I wear my heart right on my sleeve.

It's much easier to accept the not so wonderful traits they inherited from me - did I tell you about the time Alex told a woman not to park her "damn" truck so close to mine? -  when I remind myself of all the amazing things I've passed on to them as well.

What are some of the lovely things your kids have gotten from you?

Comments

[Anne]

I know exactly what you mean...the mirror that is your kids can sometimes show an ugly face, but it's also known to show wonders. Ladybaby is our little affirmer "You're the best cooker, Mummy", "That was a great effort, Michael". Chickabid is the comforter "Come here, sweetie, and I'll give you a snuggle and you'll feel better". He's seven and that was what he said to me on the day that I lost it completely on the I-am-an-incompetent-and-hopeless-mother road.
DH and I both tell the kids when we are proud of them and we encourage and affirm all the time. Now they do it themselves and it makes us feel like maybe we haven't been a *total* disaster.

[Marianne]

Mine are still quite young, both under 3 so I am not able to tell on the same level as you what positive attributes they have. Bue Lea, is very caring and likes to take care of everyone. If i'm having a bad day and dissolve into tears she will come up and rub my arm and ask me why i'm sad (shes 3!) I know she gets that from me. Anna on the other hand, has my unbelievable stubborness and refusal to play with any "toys" she'd much rather touch things she's not supposed to. She's juse recently started giving the best bear hugs ever! (she's 18mts) now if only I could get her to stop putting stuff up her nose!

Thanks for the great post, it's nice to know that our kids do get some positives from us too, since often all we see is the negative.

[ali]

ohmigosh! i LOVE this post! it's so true. they do mimic all of our bad habits...but they mimic the good as well!

[Mrs. Schmitty]

You are so right, believe me I wince quite a bit too. But I do see the good things and they make me smile! Thanks for reminding me of that!

[mamatulip]

Oliver sometimes says, "Jesus Christ!" when he drops his cup.

Oh, wait. That's not what you mean, is it?

Okay, all kidding aside, this is a lovely post. I love the way you talk about your children, as siblings and as individuals. The love in your words is so clear and evident.

I love that Julia is so compassionate. I know she gets that from both of us, but the way she expresses it is very much like me. And I love Oliver's persistence. He gets that from Dave, but his strong stubborn streak can be attributed to me.