When A Country Girl Goes To The Big Mall

This morning, I woke up full of my own smug, sleep drunk determination and decided to head to Bayshore with the kids.

This is where I should point out that I decided not to shower, slung my greasy hair into a ponytail and the only personal hygiene that I attended to was brushing my teeth.l

Why not?  Kristyn was off skiing with a friend, leaving me with only three kids.  The best part? My kids have grown past the "stroller, diaper bag, know where the washrooms are at all times" stage and shopping should is much easier.  Alex isn't the happiest kid when it comes to buying clothes, but I needed new jeans, so off we went!

We hit Old Navy first, because even though I am never happy with the fit of their jeans, the price is always right! 

I approached a short, stocky looking fellow hanging out by the jeans. He had a headset on and looked important enough so I said "Hi there! I'm looking for a size 10 long in the Flirt fit, or Diva fit, or whatever the heck regular boot cut jeans are called now?"

"No no." he said "Are you sure you need a size 10?"

Much swearing ensued and I mumbled something up shutting his uppity ass up and getting me what I asked for.

I trucked all three kids and the jeans to the dressing room and guess what? He's right. I'm not a size 10. Actually, my ass and hips are, but these freaking lowest of the low rise jeans produce the most insane muffin top ever - and I don't have a lot of waist and belly fat!

As I was making my way down the walk of shame, to ask Senor Asshat if he had something in a bit of a higher waist,  I saw someone out of the corner of my eye.  A beautifully blue-eyed chick on a cell phone. She slammed the cell phone down and said "Chantal!"

I turned around, a bit confused, but once I got a hold of myself, I recognized her immediately.  A few months ago she had added me as a friend on Facebook, saying she had been reading my blog and while she didn't have a blog of her own, thought I might want to sneak a peak into her life!

Still though, had she not said anything to me, I would have continued to walk right past her.

We chatted for a bit. I'm pretty sure I had a runny nose. I know I had greasy hair.  And I forgot to introduce her to my kids.  I was charming.

As we walked away I said to Erin, "Holy cow! Someone recognized me from my blog! Isn't that cool?"

She was surely impressed, but the next words out of her mouth were not those of awe and support.  They were "Um, Mommy. Aren't you going to pay for that stuff?"

The sound of alarm bells woke my from my reverie. Everyone looked.  I was stealing clearance t-shirts and a pair of yoga pants.

I paid for my stuff and walked out - feeling totally like the bomb.

Comments

[karen]

aha! so i have to troll around old navy to finally meet you!
that is way cool, it's like you are a bit of a celebrity when you start to get noticed like that.
here's the dilema - low rise jeans and muffin top or mom jeans? c'mon, there's gotta be something in between!

[David Williams]

Shopping with the children is really trouble some, if they don't listen to us. While buying the outfit we should always be aware of our size and structure. We should buy such type of outfit which suits our style and in which we look decent.

[Tara]

OoOO you were close to our new house! Nick and I were discussing having you kids over for dinner sometime soon -- err -- as soon as the boxes get cleared and the baby gets all born and settled. :)

[Nap Warden]

That is so cool, you're famous!

Found you on StumbleUpon btw:)

[Colleen]

You're too kind, I looked like crap and you looked amazing. Have to say, I did feel a bit like a stalker though!

[chantal]

LOL too funny. Isn't that always the way it goes. Last time I left the house in dirty jeans I ran into the president of my company. Hopefully it made him think he needs to pay me more!

[meanie]

Psst – just wanted to let you know that I tried your suggestion of putting a mattress on our floor for Grace and we have all been sleeping much better. I had to get over the feeling that I was treating her like a family pet at first, but yeah, it’s working! Thanks!

[Jen]

Shopping with the children,is too difficult. And when the children are naughty, then its a hell. When an outfit is bought one should be aware of the size and structure.

[alison]

I can *so* relate. Once, long ago, when I was living in Toronto, I was working overtime on the weekend. I had a serious cold, runny nose, etc., but we were on deadline to produce an annual publication and it had to go out so I was schlepping my poor sick ass into work. Since no one would be in the office except me and one other girl, I was greasy-haired, no makeup, wearing an old teeshirt and sweat pants. I was trudging across the subway platform when I heard someone call my name. Turning, I saw an old acquaintance from highschool (I was just out of university working my first job). He looked great. Nice clothes, styled hair, he smelled wonderful. And I was a mess. He was happy to see me and we chatted for a while, he had moved to TO to work in television. I told him how nice it was to see him, and was cringing at how terrible I looked. The post-script: I saw him again a year or so later. On TV. He had a show on Home and Garden Television called Savoir Faire, a show on style and entertaining. Just the person you want to have see you at your worst.

[Pendullum]

Tres cool...