Dinner of Compromise

Up until a few weeks ago, I was still determined to be SuperMom. I went to work full time in October and the following months found me running around like a madwoman.  I still cooked, cleaned, made lunches, went to the gym, washed clothes ... you get the idea.  I asked for help here and there when it got to be a bit too much, but mostly, I did it alone. And I seethed.

I figured that if I needed the help, John would surely notice and jump right in to help. Right?

Wrong.

This is going back to the old saying "He won't know you need help until, you know, you actually tell him you need help."  Okay, I don't really know how old that saying is or who said it before I just did, but it seems to fit to say that it's old and something that should have been obvious to me before a few weeks ago - which is when I lost it.

I was tired of being tired and resentful. So I blew up, which was counterproductive, because it produced nothing but a fight. One of our good ones too. Full of martyrdom and finger-pointing.  Some crying too, but in John's defense, I hit him with a broom. That had to hurt.

The end result was a plan. Nothing set in stone, but just a few ideas of what I expected and what I needed help with the most. We decided that when it came to household chores I would leave a list of a few things he could accomplish easily while working from home. Supper though, we divided mostly evenly.  John would start planning, cooking and serving dinner on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I would handle the other days.

It's gone well. Granted, until tonight he had fixed mostly bacon and eggs, pizza or grilled cheese - all his specialties.  This evening though, I had written "spaghetti" on the calendar, planning to make the sauce on my lunch hour and have him make the noodles later on.

Well, it didn't work out that way. I never got a chance to make the sauce, so he was on his own.  He was very proud to try and assured me it would all be fine.

When I walked in from the garage I could smell garlic and tomatoes and the sweet starchy smell of cooking pasta.  I went in to the kitchen and he was hard at work and a bit frazzled, but he looked very pleased with himself.

I looked into the pot of sauce and saw black bits amoungst the peppers and mushrooms.

"What are the black things?" I asked.

"Umm..." he said. "I kind of burnt the ground beef when I fried it in the pan. And then, when I put it into the sauce anyway, I answered the phone and then burnt the sauce. So the meat is double-burnt."

I didn't say a word. Well, except "Okayyyy..."

"Okay!" he howled. "I think the noodles are ready to drain?"

I looked into the pot of noodles and saw basically no water at all. Actually, I thought he had drained the noodles already. Turns out, he hadn't.

"Um ... babe." I said, softly. "There's no water in there."

"Yeah, there is. Just not that much. The noodles seemed to soak it all up. Maybe I didn't put in enough?"

"How much did you put in?" I asked.

"A couple of cups. Like half the pot. Then two boxes of noodles. Why? Was that not enough?" He looked a bit scared. Like I was about to hit the broom closet again.

"I'm sure it's fine. The noodles look soft and just fine. Whatever. Let's eat. I'm starved!"

There were burnt bits in my sauce. The peppers were a bit too hard. The noodles were, in fact, done, but they were a bit stuck together.

Know what though?  It was one of the best spaghetti dinners I have ever had.  I didn't have to make it and John was trying.  I absolutely loved it, and I can't wait to eat some leftovers for lunch tomorrow. (He put it in a container just for me.)

Comments

[mamatulip]

Did he clean up afterward, too?

[alison]

Nothing tastes better than a meal that you didn't have to make. Working things out with your partner tastes pretty good too. Once you get the broom straws out of it.

[Renee]

Yay for John! It's always a relief not to have to worry about cooking.
(I actually like the burnt parts myself!)

[Jane]

You are an awesome partner. He will remember that!

[Carolyn J.]

So, here's your take away on this: all children, whether male or female, MUST be given a solid grounding in the culinary arts by their parents or a reasonable substitute. You've got four chances to not inflict this situation on someone else, right?

[Deanna]

Good for you! Good for John! And, he'll improve as he begins to feel more comfortable in the kitchen. I always liked my sauce a little "burny", too!

[Anna]

I heart John.
What a valiant effort. :)

[iridiscente]

What a sweet story... broom included, lol. It's always so inspiring to see couples actually working together.