I find people to be less expressive about fathers than they are mothers. I suppose it's the soft, nurturing nature of mothers, but fathers seem to get less sentiment on their big day. I figure most Dads probably want to hear how appreciated they are and a new socket set is not necessarily the way to go.
Today, in honour of this gorgeous and sunny summer day, I'm going to post a tribute to two very important men in my life. My Dad and dad to my own children, John.
I've posted before that my father and I haven't always had a solid relationship. In fact, for a few years, it was non-existent. When your parents are divored it becomes hard to maintain a successful connection with your non-custodial parent. Other circumstances made it almost impossible for a long time. However, in the last year or so, my father and I have grown much closer. Two years ago my children didn't even know I had a father. Today, their Grandpa is a big part of their lives.
My father and I are very much alike. Not only do I have his eyes, but I have his personality. A good deal of the time we spend together is spent laughing. We have bitter, sarcastic senses of humour and tease our spouses incessantly. It's nice to see glimpses into myself and see where I came from. He's a very smart man and I respect his opinion on a lot of things. My life is so much better with him in it and I feel like I've finally been able to let my bitterness at his role in my childhood go. I'm no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop or for him to dissappear. I think he's hear to stay and we're both making the effort to keep this going.
When it comes to John, I see Father's Day a bit differently. It's a time for me to think about what kind of father he is to our children. Of course, I always knew he would be a great father, that's why I married him. When I consider his relationship with his own father, I see just how different he is than how he was raised. He is very affectionate with our children and quite hands on. He's always the first one to put a pillow between us and heave a frightened child into our bed at 2am. He wrestles them until they cry from laughing so hard. He teases them and makes fart jokes. He cuts their fingernails because he knows I'm afraind to. He pulls out wiggly teeth because he knows it grosses me out. He takes them to soccer games and picks them up from school. He brings them to dance competitions when I can't go and comes back with hilarious play-by-plays of what went on.
He pretty much leaves all of the major parenting decisions to me, because he trusts me as their mother. He's not afraid to give me his opinion but he always says that he chose me as their mother because he knew I would be great at it. It's stuff like that makes me love him like I do.
My own father is very important in my life, but John is probably the most important father in my life right now. I can't think of a better teammate in parenting.
Happy Father's Day!