Inside the married mind

Quite a few times, while chatting with friends, I've thought "Why does she put up with that? I wouldn't!" in reference to their husbands.

And if you're sitting there wondering if I've thought that about your husband, I can guarantee you that I have.

And I know that you've thought that about mine!

While wrangling kids on March Break, emptying the dishwasher and folding laundry I fumed that John was having a little nap in our room.  That's when it hit me;

Marriage isn't just about falling in love.  It's about finding someone who will put up with the vast array of day to day shit we can spew.  Someone who will love you despite all of those things and you in return, love them the same way.

John loves me even though I'm a disorganized slob and I love him even though he can be self-centred and crabby.  Some men couldn't handle the level of mess we live in and some women would want to throw John off a cliff and leave him for the coyotes.  But we put up with those aspects of each other and get on great.

Interesting?

Okay, maybe not, but this is me on March Break and a lot of Diet Pepsi.

Comments

[Melessa]

Makes sense to me!

[lyns]

Im with ya!!! There's a great sceen in "Good Will Hunting" where Robin William's character is trying to explain to Will why he didn't go to that World Series game b/c he had to "go see about a girl"... then later he married her and it wasn't the falling in love part that he cherished most after her death...it was all the picadillos...how she farted in her sleep...
That's what its all about (not farting in your sleep per se..) but chosing love (despite the crap) and loving even more!!! xo lyns

[Lala]

I KNOW you've thought that about me...more than once.

[Jaime]

Oh yes, everyone thinks that about aspects of everyone's relationship for sure. Course you don't always hear what the other side puts up with either. Dan drives me crazy!!

[ali]

i know you're totally thinking about why i put up with my husband and his insane puffy hair that he. just. won't. cut. :)

[Jay]

But... I thought you LOVED D???? Or are you wondering why he puts up with ME? :(

[Nancy]

It's funny -- J and I do the same thing all the time when we're around other couples -- "I don't know how he/she can stand this/that." But we recognize that we each have our own quirks too. Luckily we can tolerate each other's little... unusual qualities. ;-)

[jennie]

I think you're exactly right. I'm much messier than my husband, but because I know it's something he cares about I'm MUCH neater than I was when I was on my own. And in turn, he tries to accommodate matters that are important to me. We TRY, and that says a lot.

[jess]

The random acts of napitude piss me off to this day. Everything else i can forgive.

[tanyetta]

Ditto on this one:--It's about finding someone who will put up with the vast array of day to day shit we can spew

hilarious and ohhh so true. my husband's side of the closet is so organized (wooden hangers, the whole enchilada) and my side is well...ummmmm nevermind :)

[meanie]

he turns a blind eye to my ridiculous library fines, ridiculous haircut bills and i turn a blind eye to his "investments" in various hockey/football pools and poker games. that is love.

[chris]

You are exactly right :-) PC and I always joke that we could never get divorced 'cause we'd never find anyone else to put up with us. But yes, it really is all about accepting the bad as much as the good..and loving them for it.

[GNMParents]

Congratulations this post has been nominated for a Hot Stuff Award at GNMParents (www.gnmparents.com)

Voting closes Friday

Good Luck

[MamaLee]

Amen!

Wow, you are so right on many levels! I am the procrastinator who leaves little piles of everything everywhere, and my hubby is a pita. Well, sometimes. And I'm getting better at my crap.

Oh, you speak/write so well!

[Mrs. Chicken]

My BIL refused to shovel my sister's driveway, and I remarked that Mr. Chicken would shovel. She retorted that Mr. Chicken was terribly unreasonable in ways my BIL is not.

Touche!

To the coyotes, indeed.

[Melissa]

Hey Chantal, I can't believe I missed the whole Alex/Kawasaki thing. Thank God Alex is home and OK. My son Matthew had a friend who got it when he was 5, very scary.

Obviously I need to check in more often.

Take care of yourself, too, you've been through a lot!

[Elizabeth]

I tagged you for a meme, if you have a minute!

[alison]

If you had known my ex and I when we were together, you definitely would have thought that. And you'd have been right.

[sherry]

You know, as usual you make an excellent point. I get SO frustrated with things George does sometimes. And at least once a month he gets really angry about the mess because I'm not a perfect housekeeper and I'd rather not kill myself every day to scrub the apartment. And yet we still love each other.