I've been know to say stupid things. We've talked about this so you're familiar, right? I don't know why I do this but in many situations I do a combination of two things;
- I talk about myself way too much,
- I say dumbass things. Things normal people have a filter in their brain for. A filter that says "That is inappropriate/uninteresting/easily miscontrued as an insult".
I hit a new low Saturday morning.
Two friends, our kids and I hit the mall on Thursday. I needed to purchase a new outfit for an event I am involved in next week. That in itself was painful and humiliating, but we'll save that for another time. Somehow the conversation swerved into one of my friends mentioning her husband likes to take his shirt off around the house. (He works out, it's all good.) It was funny. We laughed.
End of story? Oh not even! My brain stored that little nugget away so that I could one day use it to make a complete arse of myself.
It bodes well for you that it didn't take long for me to just that.
Saturday morning I ran into the husband outside the grocery store. A normal human being, capable of adult interaction would say "Hi You. What's up? Good to see you!"
Not me. I went right up to my friend's husband and said:
"So ... I hear you have a hard time keeping your clothes on. I'm thinking I need to spend more time over at your house."
He laughed. I laughed. I walked away. Realizing about ten minutes TOO LATE that he probably thought I was hitting on him. Yes, that's right a 30 year old Mom of four takes her kids to the local store and hits on married men. Really what I was doing was teasing him a bit, but I didn't tell him it was because his wife and I had joked about it two days prior. All he got from that conversation was that I wanted to come over and witness his chestiness firsthand.
It's okay now. I'm close enough with his wife that I was able to tell her what I had done and how funny it was. She's witnessed me say things like this before so she had pretty much figured it out when her husband came home and told her what I said.
I just wanted to document, for you, just how nuts I can be.